nana nen

28.09.2012

I gave you space so you could breathe
I kept my distance so you would be free
And hope that you find the missing piece to bring you back to me.


Why dont you remember the reason you loved me?
Baby please remember me once more.

somebody that i used to know

I get your signal and decision clearly.

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing

I will disappear from your life completely.

And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low

I (still) love you.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough

No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
Guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

when there is no goodbyes

August

(s) she left
(c) he left
(e) she left
(w) she left
(m) he left
(b) she's leaving

They all left - goodbye once and for all.

Life is about moving forward, away from the past.

someday we'll know (or not)

Someday you'll know
That i was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea

If i could ask god just one question

Why aren't you here with me?


you are so close yet so far.

Dreams that are achieving

Same bloody scary sad dream every time!
Same bloody hurt after i wake up.


even in my dream you walked away with anther.

Dont even know what to say about such a scar.


except this time I was shattered I slapped you. (dreams can be achieving.)

Explosiv-able soon

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh

Take, take, take it all,
But you never give

Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did

To give me all your love is all I ever asked,

Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh

I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

If science could explain

I read a lot - they all said the same thing.

To let go is not to forget,
but to let happier things flow into our live.
If sorrow fills your heart,
there's no space for happiness.

But isnt it to forget first before you could let go?

One year ago i was in deeper pain than today.
One year later maybe i'll be completely okay.


I admit
I (still) cant bear to...
but the reason seems to be fading

letting go

The reasons why you dont look into my eyes

Can a person really love two people at the same time?

Each time i search for the answer my heart just feel the stab.

Maybe we are all just too good liars.
We think we can forget and let it go.
We think we are ready to move on.

But actually we are just riding with the wind and hoping the breeze would slowly blow away the pain.

I stop believing.

Solitude is the answer.

This time there's no more next time.

Our past teaches us many things.
So does our memories.

I've always believed "We only live once. So do anything you like as long as you dont hurt the people around you (emotionally / physically)"

So i braved the fire and pain.
Loved, Lost , Learnt.
Retreated, Recovered, Rejoiced

I was reminded of who i was and what i was supposed to be doing.

This time, there's no more next time.

tt

All i have is my love to give

What i wanted most,
was to figure myself out

What i figured out,
was that i needed more time to figure you out.

So torn its beyond starch and glue.

Never too early for love

Irresistibly lovely.
Perfect for Valentine's Day.

the ideal.

SW: "what's your ideal date?"

SL: "making a meal together, snuggling up on the sofa, watch a movie"


was that too much to ask?

.you were my last dream.

love was too big of a word

today i am abandoning all misery.

i deserve to be happy.

the dream

that moment

i was dreaming, of

Our Wedding...

i wanted to be married, happily and blissfully (with you) too...

complexity

and i don't know why the tears still flow

When the truth hurts

Im not being sensitive.

It was too obvious to hide.

Blinded

seeing all these,
I am certain,
I can never take betrayal to that level.

Perfect wasn't enough to keep this love alive

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high

It never would have worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

I'll never fall in love

I choose to ignore

because I'm sick and tired of this jealousy
exhausted by the overwhelming pain
and this deluded state of mind


I (dont) understand why I even feel this way.

failed training

because i fucking mind !

i didnt know that i would still hurt from this

it still pains my heart so much to feel this way.

i thought i was trained to get used.

please be mine.

Current desire : Classic Mulberry , Chocolate.

will you be mine ?

Now i know

Our similarities.

We used to socialize among roses and flowers
We used to fill our days with tea parties and dinner dates
But when they came about,
we changed our pirorities -
because they said they dont feel secured,
because they wanted to be number one.

and so when we changed,

everything was you before me
everything was whatever you please
everything was pushed aside because you are number one.

but as they grew,
they grew apart
their wings started to spread wider than we could imagine.

but we were still where we were
sitting at home like some fool
sitting on our deluded nostalgic memories

thinking that if we stay at where we are now,
someday when they are tired,
they will fly back to us.

thinking that,
someday, just someday,
they might really see our love.

but little did we know,
that the world out there is bigger than just us.
more beautiful than just us.
more seductive than just us.

and that is how we got duped into their fanciful tales
about how-much-i-love-you that comes with a 'but'...

its just so funny how we became like this.

someday when you look back, we may not be there anymore.

because it's so painful to be the one waiting.

a little too late for dinner, a little too early for party. so here's self reflection.

Been a while.
Been a little too long for all the unsettled dramas.

Today's the day i make another important decision.
a decision to change.
a decison not to run away anymore.

I cannot allow myself to remain in this self destructive state.
It'll destroy me faster than anyone can save me.

Next year will be a better year. I promise.

Thanks B, i needed to hear what you told me today.

They say when you're at your lowest point, you will bounce back up again. But I need that bounce real soon.